Whaaaooooo........has the past week been a busy one! All these changes in my life.
Let's re-cap, from the last post, got stood up to go to dinner with the adorable friends of mine, went out last Friday for some convo with my soon-to-be ex-boss, Went shopping after, found great deals on children's clothing, planned my husbands Birthday party for this week-end, forgot about a committee meeting I was supposed to go to, looked at more college scholarships. Went to a birthday party for an old friend, saw her baby, wanted more kids, smacked my self for even thinking that. Got my hair done, came home to a disaster.
Had the kids and the husband get sick, lack of sleep for 3 days, took off Wed. to clean-up my house due to a water leak. Ripped up flooring in the bathroom due to a water leak, stressed about finances, spend the whole day cleaning and disinfecting, trying not to get sick, feeling a little off, took our dog Marley out for a walk, talked to Marley a bit about house breaking, cleaned up the mess Marley made in the house. Realized, Marley cannot understand me and that I am crazy talking to a dog, yet she is a good listener. Found Marley, sleeping with Maddy on the couch because she was sick, thought to myself having a dog isn't so bad, Kissed Marley and Maddy, continued to clean.
Next day, ton's of things to do at work to finish up my last week, yesterday went out to a party at an old co-worker's house (felt a little awkward), heard a friend of mine's mother past away, called and sent my sympathy and thoughts, went to trivia night (finally) at Apple bee's with some friends, had a blast and stayed out too late, came home realized we are out of propane so no hot water/heat (yeah pleasant) and crashed with a few comforters, woke up this morning to my last day at work, read the news, realized I needed to pack up my desk, picked up the book I was reading and said, I need to start reading this again, had some cake, going out to lunch to celebrate my last day, movie night for the local teenagers we are hosting (committee), Mike's Party tomorrow and finally, hopefully spend some time with him, before the new adventure of my new job starts on Monday.
Did you get all that? Chaos!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
You, are a lone reed......
....standing tall, waiving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce... I needed to hear that today. Another long, and tiring day. And for those who who not know my dearest friend, Sue (there I said it) would know exactly, why I needed to hear, that movie line, from You've Got mail today.
Kathleen is faced with (as her store is threatened, by the "big" Fox Books Superstore) What she exactly does in her life. I remember her saying, I've been thinking about my work what is it I do Exactly? All, I really do is run a children's bookstore -as Frank interrupts her and says What you are doing is this incredibly Nobel thing.....Kathleen! You, are a lone reed!
Then goes on or (before I can't remember, as to explaining what he means) When you are finished with Fox books, the Shop Around the Corner is going to be responsible for reversing the entire course of the Industrial Revolution.
She later writes this : Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Valuable but, small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?
And, that my fellow readers is where, I was today. It has got me thinking of the no follow-through, I have. I sometimes ponder on that same question over and over again Do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So, Sue, your the only person that would get that. Even though we haven't talked as much as we normally do lately (chaos). I was thinking about you today and as sappy and sugary sweet that is, thanks for your lone reed talks. You get me, most definitely.
There, I was today, thinking about the women in my life. (risque huh?) Not really but, the family and friends that I do have. The ones that pick me up after the darkest of hours. The old the young, and some close male friends, I have had the privilege of growing up with. Thank-you for putting up with me, my chaos, random, goofy, embarrassing self. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you guys in my life.
All that sappy stuff aside, tonight after I cook and spend time with my wonderful husband. I am going out to catch up, with those amazing dear friends of mine (which I have not seen in forever) and laugh and let my hair down (lack there of, I'm growing it out) and for one night feel like a kid again, and sit back and take the moment in.
I need it today. (little down I might say, don't know why, probably some girly hormonal thing which explains my sap, that no-one cares about) Anyway, I'm still blogging....which is a feat in it self. As, well as potty training the twins (that is like giving birth all over again, what a sense on accomplishment) Thanks mother-in-law for the help! (shout out to her)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Okay, I know, second post in one day....
So, I found Julie Powell's blog.....(yeah, I followed it) (I think this is like...hmmm what's the word obsession?) Nah, I just googled her(to see what other books she may have wrote, and to find out what she looks like) Come on, I have Amy Adams in my head....so she wrote another book called Cleaving: a story of marriage, meat, and obsession by: julie powell. So, I went on Amazon and looked at the reviews and came acrossed these....and I could not agree more.... So, Julie Powell (like she would ever read this, hmmm, maybe?)keep it up!...doing what you are doing...I myself like the honesty.
The Imperfect Book That I Adored, January 1, 2010
By
Theseus "theseus" (US of A) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) Julie Powell is trouble. Ambitious, high-strung, insecure, she drinks way too much. Trail-blazing, independent, a homebody. And a self-promoter. Sexually needy. No, sexually compulsive! In short, she isn't Amy Adams. The story here should have been simple. Julie meets great acclaim and huge financial rewards after Julie & Julia. She seeks her next project d'food: learning butchery. Sounds like an easy pitch, doesn't it? Girl power in the abattoir! Buffy the liver-eater! However, money and fame don't seem to be working for her. Her marriage is a wreck, she's now an adulterer, and she's desperately unhappy. This is a messy, ambitious, funny memoir. It is one of the most moving and enlightening things I have read in a long time. True, her style of writing here is all over the map. Not a smooth read. Some of the language just sort of spills onto the page in a big emotional glop. The writing about cutting meat is technical and agonizingly detailed. And there are recipes here. And travel memoir stuff. And character-driven explorations of her relationships with her husband and her lover. But OF COURSE this memoir is stylistically fractured. That, apparently, was the experience of being Julie Powell during these years. I felt carried along by a mysterious inner logic that seemed to course through this book. And just when I thought Julie had lost me and had lost herself (during the travel memoir stuff) the book came full circle. And Julie Powell found some respite. Some centering. And the whole thing made sense. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
By
Theseus "theseus" (US of A) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) Julie Powell is trouble. Ambitious, high-strung, insecure, she drinks way too much. Trail-blazing, independent, a homebody. And a self-promoter. Sexually needy. No, sexually compulsive! In short, she isn't Amy Adams. The story here should have been simple. Julie meets great acclaim and huge financial rewards after Julie & Julia. She seeks her next project d'food: learning butchery. Sounds like an easy pitch, doesn't it? Girl power in the abattoir! Buffy the liver-eater! However, money and fame don't seem to be working for her. Her marriage is a wreck, she's now an adulterer, and she's desperately unhappy. This is a messy, ambitious, funny memoir. It is one of the most moving and enlightening things I have read in a long time. True, her style of writing here is all over the map. Not a smooth read. Some of the language just sort of spills onto the page in a big emotional glop. The writing about cutting meat is technical and agonizingly detailed. And there are recipes here. And travel memoir stuff. And character-driven explorations of her relationships with her husband and her lover. But OF COURSE this memoir is stylistically fractured. That, apparently, was the experience of being Julie Powell during these years. I felt carried along by a mysterious inner logic that seemed to course through this book. And just when I thought Julie had lost me and had lost herself (during the travel memoir stuff) the book came full circle. And Julie Powell found some respite. Some centering. And the whole thing made sense. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
Did I fall asleep and wake up in the wrong century?, January 3, 2010
By
Colorado Springs reader "Colorado Springs reader" (Colorado Springs) - See all my reviewsI would have thought that a woman writing an honest and gutsy memoir about, among other things, her extramarital affairs would at least get a fair hearing. I find all this hate fest stuff very strange, and quite unnerving. (pitchforks, anyone?) Is there anyone out there who hasn't been engulfed by group think? If so, this book is quite worthwhile: frank (perhaps she does over share a bit), well written, and even insightful. Her descriptions of our irrational behavior when we convince ourselves that we need some particular thing in order to be happy, and the crazy things we'll do as a result, the lies we'll tell ourselves - well, it's quite well done. So why is this book making people so nuts? I would have thought that couples have some right, nowadays, to decide what they want out of their own marriage, but apparently not - they need a marriage that conforms to the standards of random book reviewers. I hope that all this bile is some kind of weird outgrowth of the juxtaposition of women and cooking, and isn't reflective of the level of sexism in our society (still!!). I notice that someone in the comments section wrote that she wanted to read more about Julia Child (as opposed to the wicked Julie Powell), because Julia Child had a good marriage. Imagine! Julia Child was a fascinating woman, with all kinds of accomplishments, and she's to be valued for being lucky enough to have a good marriage. Sheesh. And Powell is not worth reading, because she isn't (in the eyes of the all-knowing wise ones who post reviews here) a good enough wife. Sheesh, again. Anyway, Julie Powell, we may forgive you if you get back in the kitchen (and stay there). Preferably barefoot. Sackcloth and ashes would help. Don't think for a moment that it's OK for you to be gallivanting around the world, because you have your marriage to think of, and even if your husband doesn't mind, it's our opinion that counts. And be sure, in the future, to write cheery upbeat stuff. Cutesy, you know. We, the reading public, aren't ready for anything bearing the remotest resemblance to real life, so don't even try that stuff with us. We're not exactly grownups, you may have noticed, and we don't want any challenges to our world view. And good writing doesn't cut any ice with us. We know it's `drivil' (i.e., we wouldn't know good writing if it bit us in the ankle). It's `disappointing'. And you wouldn't want to disappoint mature discriminating people like us. P.S. As far as I know, writing is a `real job'. As is working as a butcher.
Day 2, of this crazy journey, I am on....
So, let see, so far so good. I am keeping consistent with my blogging. (even though it is only day 2) Anyway, that is a good thing. Even though, I am probably the only one who may be reading this besides, My husband. Who, is the first to "follow" me (so supportive, I know, poor thing, me?, come on) I am going to continue, on my quest.
Last night, as I muddled though yet another long day at work and made my way to the grocery store (which I ended up spending an hour and a half at). The thing is about small towns, you just run into everyone and their mother. A lady that I use to work with, my Model Management guy (which has done nothing for me in the last year and a half, but rip me off for some pictures) and a few friends, I went to high school with. All, making of course "small talk" with the usual "So how are things with you?" When really it's just what someone says to try and act like they are interested before spilling there achievements, in the whole "see I am better than you, and not a shit head" so to speak.
It's like when you go and see your family for the holidays and all you hear is, "Well, my child(your cousin) is top in her class, is almost graduating from her master's degree, and has a huge house and everything is just perfect blah blah.....When in reality they are trying to prove that they weren't such a bad parent and from the outside all is well, but, really the child or (cousin) wants to slit her wrists all the time because of the constant pressure, from her parents to keep up with the Jones' and be the perfect role model for everyone. When, she probably has some freaky fetish that no one knows about. Like a catholic school girl her first day at a Public University....watch out their crazy!
So, here I am, after a mind numbing, soul-sucking dead end job from hell (yeah, I stole that from Julie Powell's book)(The soul- sucking part) Which by the end of this month, will be transferred, back to my old building, after they rob me of my dignity. At, the grocery store about to get the ingredients for a Ricotta, Honey w/ orange peel, cheesecake, I need to make for a girl at work that is leaving our department. (Lucky bastard)
So, I come home to chaos and in making this cheesecake, all is right with the world. There is something, that has to be said about making something so delicious, after a long day, that just makes everything alright. (At least for that moment) I don't think it is a healthy habit (emotional eating that is) and if it weren't for my metabolism, I should be 300 lbs by now, the way I eat. What can I say, I just love food and love to eat it.
So, back to the goal. College. Major: Teaching. Minor: Art/Culinary Arts. I did manage to get a list of scholarships to apply for from elearners.com and start plowing away at applying. How, many sappy stories/essays they must go through, to award a scholarship every year. The point is, my life sucks and I need more money. So, I need to get a degree in something, to even be considered for a job that makes more money. End of crappy, essay. (I don't think, I should say that)
Then, comes financial aid yay! Currently, waiting on my W2 to come in so I can file my taxes, to fill out my financial aid, to probably be rejected, because I am middle class America. $11.00 over the poverty level but $11.00 too much to receive any assistance. So, if I take my white ass and not work, I could sit on that ass, pop out a few more kids and really drain the government. Then I would have it made, because what's our motto? "Work harder people on well-fare depend on you." (Not, stereotyping everyone, I have come close to being there) But, for all those lazy people, who are well qualified to work and can, but, don't give a shit and think it's going to be handed to you....get a job!(probably going to get hate mail for that) trolls....
Okay, enough of my ranting on issues that well, I cannot change. So, the cheese cake was a hit! So good, had (clearing my throat) 3 pieces....what? it was good! My lunch hour is nearly over so, I will leave you with this:
"But, Julia Child isn't about that. Julia Child wants you- that's right you, the one living in the tract house in sprawling suburbia with a dead-end middle management job and nothing but a stop and shop for miles around- to know how to make good pastry, and also how to make those canned green beans taste all right. She wants you to remember that you are human, and as such are entitled to that most basic of human rights, the right to eat well and enjoy life.
And that blows heirloom tomatoes and first- press Umbrain olive oil out of the fucking water." Julie & Julia- Julie Powell
Last night, as I muddled though yet another long day at work and made my way to the grocery store (which I ended up spending an hour and a half at). The thing is about small towns, you just run into everyone and their mother. A lady that I use to work with, my Model Management guy (which has done nothing for me in the last year and a half, but rip me off for some pictures) and a few friends, I went to high school with. All, making of course "small talk" with the usual "So how are things with you?" When really it's just what someone says to try and act like they are interested before spilling there achievements, in the whole "see I am better than you, and not a shit head" so to speak.
It's like when you go and see your family for the holidays and all you hear is, "Well, my child(your cousin) is top in her class, is almost graduating from her master's degree, and has a huge house and everything is just perfect blah blah.....When in reality they are trying to prove that they weren't such a bad parent and from the outside all is well, but, really the child or (cousin) wants to slit her wrists all the time because of the constant pressure, from her parents to keep up with the Jones' and be the perfect role model for everyone. When, she probably has some freaky fetish that no one knows about. Like a catholic school girl her first day at a Public University....watch out their crazy!
So, here I am, after a mind numbing, soul-sucking dead end job from hell (yeah, I stole that from Julie Powell's book)(The soul- sucking part) Which by the end of this month, will be transferred, back to my old building, after they rob me of my dignity. At, the grocery store about to get the ingredients for a Ricotta, Honey w/ orange peel, cheesecake, I need to make for a girl at work that is leaving our department. (Lucky bastard)
So, I come home to chaos and in making this cheesecake, all is right with the world. There is something, that has to be said about making something so delicious, after a long day, that just makes everything alright. (At least for that moment) I don't think it is a healthy habit (emotional eating that is) and if it weren't for my metabolism, I should be 300 lbs by now, the way I eat. What can I say, I just love food and love to eat it.
So, back to the goal. College. Major: Teaching. Minor: Art/Culinary Arts. I did manage to get a list of scholarships to apply for from elearners.com and start plowing away at applying. How, many sappy stories/essays they must go through, to award a scholarship every year. The point is, my life sucks and I need more money. So, I need to get a degree in something, to even be considered for a job that makes more money. End of crappy, essay. (I don't think, I should say that)
Then, comes financial aid yay! Currently, waiting on my W2 to come in so I can file my taxes, to fill out my financial aid, to probably be rejected, because I am middle class America. $11.00 over the poverty level but $11.00 too much to receive any assistance. So, if I take my white ass and not work, I could sit on that ass, pop out a few more kids and really drain the government. Then I would have it made, because what's our motto? "Work harder people on well-fare depend on you." (Not, stereotyping everyone, I have come close to being there) But, for all those lazy people, who are well qualified to work and can, but, don't give a shit and think it's going to be handed to you....get a job!(probably going to get hate mail for that) trolls....
Okay, enough of my ranting on issues that well, I cannot change. So, the cheese cake was a hit! So good, had (clearing my throat) 3 pieces....what? it was good! My lunch hour is nearly over so, I will leave you with this:
"But, Julia Child isn't about that. Julia Child wants you- that's right you, the one living in the tract house in sprawling suburbia with a dead-end middle management job and nothing but a stop and shop for miles around- to know how to make good pastry, and also how to make those canned green beans taste all right. She wants you to remember that you are human, and as such are entitled to that most basic of human rights, the right to eat well and enjoy life.
And that blows heirloom tomatoes and first- press Umbrain olive oil out of the fucking water." Julie & Julia- Julie Powell
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Here I am world, my first post.....Welcome to the 21st Century
I have heard blogging is very therapeutic and where I am at this point in my life I need all the help I can get. Instead of being on xanax or pay thousands of dollars for a therapist, maybe this is a way I can work through my "every-day-ness" or "mess" I should say if you knew my life. What I mean by this is the monotony of the daily grind, to set short term goals and actually achieve or finish something in my life.
The goal:Finish my bachelors degree before I am 30. (I am 24 if anyone is counting) And document my struggle or quest to achieve that goal. Sound familiar? I am probably the 1 millionth young mother that is doing this right now and you are probably saying, Yeah, tell something that I don't know, in today's' society/economy. But, if I am the only person that reads and posts this, than for only my benefit, then whatever....It makes me feel better.
So you say "So what happened?" "What has kept you from finishing things in your life?" I could go into the whole, I got married at a young age and had three kids, two of which were twins and the series of events that follow and how life just gets in the way and before you know it, you are in this dead-end career and feel like you lost yourself. But, I won't. The main thing is procrastination....there is always an excuse with me....and for once, which is a lot for me to say "I am just tired of talking about it and I am actually going to do it!"
So what motivates me now? My 25th Birthday is coming up in May and I just realized, I am almost to 30. Yes, I have a great husband and children and family. I have accomplished things but, for me? my career? what I wanted to really do in life? (mind you I would not change my kids or husband by no means)
But, timing....without this going into a pity party, let's just say I was watching a movie "Julie and Julia" and started laughing of how similar this person was to me. I am a huge movie buff, I might say and it is so typical and cliche that a movie motivated me to realized that I needed to do something with my life. (As the eyes roll now)
But, before you already say: "Oh she's just some carbon copy of this movie that motivated her and turned her life around and blah blah blah".... I got to thinking... we are all products of influence and if it wasn't for Julia Child for Julie Powell she would not have started that short term goal "cooking her way through Julia Child's cook book Mastering the Art of French cooking" that motivated her to blog about it and then write a book, which made it into a movie and now she is successful with a sense of achievement. If it wasn't by inspiration out of some elses work to move forward with one's own ambition then what the point of learning. I think we all learn and grow from surrounding people/influences. So, if it takes a movie to inspire me to get up an do something then, kuddos to her.
So, the other day I was in Walden Books who, is going out of business in my small town and I was looking for a book called Paper Towns....By John Green "the vlog brothers on youtube" (for all you, youtube pioneers out there)....seriously check them out....So, anyway there was, in the midst of the 70 to 85% off, sea of discount-ness and there it was. The book (not the one I was looking for, or the Bible) But, "Julie and Julia" the book....it was calling to me.....(and only $5.00 too) So, I picked it up and a few days later started reading.
When, they say the book is better than the movie, believe them! So much more detail and information than what the can fit in less than 2 hours. So, I started reading and man, I just had to laugh (again) of the similarities.....but, the one thing that stuck with me was the statement referring to Julia Child's Potage Parmentier (complicated and french for leek and potato soup) was..... "that it was simple but, not easy". I of course relating everything to food as I do, in fact had the same revelation she did. Although, the soup is simple, the recipe consists of Potato's, leeks, water, butter,salt and pepper) the preparation is not easy but, the goal or final product is simple and consists of simple ingredients.
So, my goal is simple but, it is not going to be easy....so here we go day 1 of this 4 to 5 year journey. Let's see if I can do it.....
"And so, late that evening , a tiny line dropped into the endless sea of cyberspace, the slenderest of lures in the blackest of waters...... Julie Powell was looking for a challenge. And in the Julie/Julia project she found it. Risking her marriage, her job and her cats' well-being, she has signed on for a deranged assignment. 365 days. 524 recipes. One girl and a crappy outer borough kitchen. How far it will go, no one can say...." Julia & Julia - Julie Powell
The goal:Finish my bachelors degree before I am 30. (I am 24 if anyone is counting) And document my struggle or quest to achieve that goal. Sound familiar? I am probably the 1 millionth young mother that is doing this right now and you are probably saying, Yeah, tell something that I don't know, in today's' society/economy. But, if I am the only person that reads and posts this, than for only my benefit, then whatever....It makes me feel better.
So you say "So what happened?" "What has kept you from finishing things in your life?" I could go into the whole, I got married at a young age and had three kids, two of which were twins and the series of events that follow and how life just gets in the way and before you know it, you are in this dead-end career and feel like you lost yourself. But, I won't. The main thing is procrastination....there is always an excuse with me....and for once, which is a lot for me to say "I am just tired of talking about it and I am actually going to do it!"
So what motivates me now? My 25th Birthday is coming up in May and I just realized, I am almost to 30. Yes, I have a great husband and children and family. I have accomplished things but, for me? my career? what I wanted to really do in life? (mind you I would not change my kids or husband by no means)
But, timing....without this going into a pity party, let's just say I was watching a movie "Julie and Julia" and started laughing of how similar this person was to me. I am a huge movie buff, I might say and it is so typical and cliche that a movie motivated me to realized that I needed to do something with my life. (As the eyes roll now)
But, before you already say: "Oh she's just some carbon copy of this movie that motivated her and turned her life around and blah blah blah".... I got to thinking... we are all products of influence and if it wasn't for Julia Child for Julie Powell she would not have started that short term goal "cooking her way through Julia Child's cook book Mastering the Art of French cooking" that motivated her to blog about it and then write a book, which made it into a movie and now she is successful with a sense of achievement. If it wasn't by inspiration out of some elses work to move forward with one's own ambition then what the point of learning. I think we all learn and grow from surrounding people/influences. So, if it takes a movie to inspire me to get up an do something then, kuddos to her.
So, the other day I was in Walden Books who, is going out of business in my small town and I was looking for a book called Paper Towns....By John Green "the vlog brothers on youtube" (for all you, youtube pioneers out there)....seriously check them out....So, anyway there was, in the midst of the 70 to 85% off, sea of discount-ness and there it was. The book (not the one I was looking for, or the Bible) But, "Julie and Julia" the book....it was calling to me.....(and only $5.00 too) So, I picked it up and a few days later started reading.
When, they say the book is better than the movie, believe them! So much more detail and information than what the can fit in less than 2 hours. So, I started reading and man, I just had to laugh (again) of the similarities.....but, the one thing that stuck with me was the statement referring to Julia Child's Potage Parmentier (complicated and french for leek and potato soup) was..... "that it was simple but, not easy". I of course relating everything to food as I do, in fact had the same revelation she did. Although, the soup is simple, the recipe consists of Potato's, leeks, water, butter,salt and pepper) the preparation is not easy but, the goal or final product is simple and consists of simple ingredients.
So, my goal is simple but, it is not going to be easy....so here we go day 1 of this 4 to 5 year journey. Let's see if I can do it.....
"And so, late that evening , a tiny line dropped into the endless sea of cyberspace, the slenderest of lures in the blackest of waters...... Julie Powell was looking for a challenge. And in the Julie/Julia project she found it. Risking her marriage, her job and her cats' well-being, she has signed on for a deranged assignment. 365 days. 524 recipes. One girl and a crappy outer borough kitchen. How far it will go, no one can say...." Julia & Julia - Julie Powell
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)